Dead Beat Dads
by tihease
Summary: Castiel finds God. Short crackfic oneshot.


**Not sure how many times this has been done before, but I hope you like it. **

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><p>Castiel pushed open the door to the warehouse, Dean's amulet growing hotter in his hand. This was it.<p>

Originally, when Dean had made a snarky pop-culture reference that he had intended to be a joke, Castiel hadn't realized that Dean had no intention of being serious. Taking his words to heart, he had flown to Los Angeles, California and then his phone had rang.

_"Cas? Cas where the hell are you?"_

_"I am in California, Dean. You were correct on your assumption of my Father's where abouts."_

_He heard a groan and a sigh on the other end. Presumably Dean was not happy with him._

_"I was kidding. You're not gonna find him in Hollywood! Man, having to constantly reinforce the fact that I'm __**joking **__kinda takes the fun out of everything, you buzz-kill."_

_"Goodbye, Dean."_

It had taken him a little less than half an hour to fly over every inch of Hollywood before he had found the right path which led him to the warehouse he was now inside of. It appeared to be a movie set, some sitting on chairs watching the action and calling out orders while others bustled about getting the stars and directors coffee and donuts.

Castiel's eyes traveled over the people as he tried to identify which was his Father. The amulet burned like coal in his palm and he was immediately able to identify who he was looking for when the feeling of peace and calm settled over him by just the mere sight of the omniscient being.

He had his back to him, sitting on a chair and watching the two human actors play their parts. Castiel took a shaky breath. He would never understand why his Father would hide out on earth inside a vessel, in a place where humans came to seek fame and currency by pretending to be other people. Heaven was in turmoil and the Apocalypse was on it's way, but here he was. God truly did work in mysterious ways.

"Oh Father, even I will never understand your ways," he sighed to himself as he began walking forward.

When he was directly behind him, he gave him a slight tap on the shoulder, not sure how to handle the situation. The man turned around, raising a questioning eyebrow at him. Castiel took a step back.

"Father?"

"Excuse me?" he asked. He had his doubts before, but now they were all gone at hearing his voice. Powerful and commanding yet gentle and kind, it shined through his vessel's vocal cords.

"It is me, Father. It is Castiel."

"I don't know what you're talking about, kid. You sure don't look related to me," he turned his back to Castiel again. "You can get an autograph later, I'm kinda busy right now," he said without turning around again.

Castiel walked around to face him, not liking that he'd come all this way just to be told to buzz off.

"You may have fooled my brothers, but you cannot fool me," he said without raising his head to meet the other being's eyes. "I know who you are."

"Do you?" he asked, resting his head on the fist that was leaning on the hand rest of the chair. "How did you find me?"

Castiel looked up, eyes wide. Finding him was one thing, having him admit to it was another. Castiel held up the amulet.

"With this," he said.

"Ah, I see then. What can I do for-"

"Freeman, this is your scene!"

Castiel turned his eyes on the man that dare interrupt his Father, ready to smite him for all he was worth if given permission to. When he turned back around though, God was already standing up and dusting his hands on his pants.

"If you don't mind, this is my time to shine," he said with a smile as he walked onto the set. Castiel cocked his head curiously. Perhaps he was mistaken, the amulet could be faulty.

Someone patted his shoulder as they walked by him, stopping to ignetiate a discussion.

"Isn't he awesome? Half the crew is in awe whenever he's on screen... I don't know, it's kinda like he's a god or something. He never fails. Latte?"

Castiel reluctantly grabbed the coffe from the PA. Holding it as he watched God act.

"Otherwise... shoot this motherfucker and let us take our fraternity of assassins to heights reserved for only the gods of men!"

Castiel once again found his eyes wide, shocked by the words that had just left his dad's mouth.

"Morgan Freeman. Legend. I am _so _getting an autograph after this, screw my job."

He didn't even notice the insignificant PA leave. He could only cock his head further to the left as he tried to make sense of the situation.

"...Father?"

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><p><strong>I'm not sure how well 'Wanted' and season 4 match up according to years, but I just couldn't resist. My reaction to Morgan Freeman cussing in that movie was the same as Cas'.<strong>


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